Author: mommy

dear sleep

sleep twins

dear sleep

Dear sleep, I’m sorry. I’ve underestimated you. In the past I didn’t give you the respect you deserved. I would mock you and tease that I only got 7 hours of sleep and how awful that was. People would ask how I was and I’d respond with not well, I didn’t sleep well, I woke up in the middle of the night and it took me 10 minutes to fall back asleep. They would shake their head, sympathizing at how awful that must be. Poor girl, they’d think. Only 7 hours of sleep. What a trooper she is. How strong she must be. Oh how wrong I was.

Can we make a deal? If I give you the praise you deserve will you come back? I know, I know the twins are teething and sick so I’ll be realistic, but any glimpse of you would be much appreciated. People now ask how I am and I’ll shout “Amazing! I slept three hours last night in a row! I feel like a new woman!” Last night, as Gracie shrieked every time we put her in her crib, I sang along to Twinkle, Twinkle making up my own words about how great sleep was and didn’t she want to try it. She’s not sold, but I am. Go sleep! — you’re biggest fan.

and we’re back!

twins updates

and we’re back!

Has it really been 4 years since our last update? 4 years. In a blink they have passed. Days went by planning posts announcing additions to the family, months passed waiting, finally wishes came true but didn’t want to jinx anything. Then exhaustion and survival. Which seems silly to say as we have a warm roof over our head, loved ones to support us and food in our belly. Survival isn’t really that hard is it? The days have been long but the past 10 months have been oh so short. The past 4 years passed in a moment and then these two arrived. And the adventure began.

General

moment in time

Our legs are intertwined as we snuggle on the couch. A blanket is partially covering us, empty chocolate coin wrappers from the Advent calendar are scattered on the table next to us. Sofia has a doll on her lap and is combing her hair methodically as I read to her from a book we got at the library. A chapter book. With only a few pictures scattered inside. Sofia has been really focused on reading these past few months. She has a couple beginner reading books, and they read a chapter in a chapter book each afternoon at school. I use the library as a bribe now, and it works. She begs to go. A couple of months ago we wandered through the stacks and came to the shelves that house the collections of chapter books. Ramona is there, as is Nancy Drew, Boxcar children and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I was a bit unsure of how Sofia would do with some of these… and then finally we came across the perfect series. Junie B. Jones. We had seen her featured in a play last year and Sofia loved it. We took a few books off the shelf and brought them home. We’ve now read them all. Sometimes two a day. Now we are on to the next series, Ivy and Bean. I love that Sofia loves to read as much as I did. As I still do but seem to never have the time.

This year has been so busy. How is it December already? Really? Only three blog posts this whole year? How is that possible… Every year at this time I make the same vow to slow down and relish the times we have, no matter how extravagant, no matter how mundane. This was my new years resolution this past year. Dolce fa niente. Sweetness in doing nothing. Snuggled up, on the couch, eating chocolate and laughing with bean. Perfection.

General

going for gold

Growing up we would often head down to the carousel in the park. I would eye the line, trying to perfectly time where I was in line so I could on an outer horse. Once that horse was secured I would adjust the belt, practice my stance and see how far I could reach out while still holding on. I never feared falling off the horse because of the belt, each time pushing the limits on how far I could reach. The minute the carousel started moving my heart would start pounding. Then the rings would come into view. You had to time it right, reaching out at just the right time. Each time there was a successful grab and a ring was secured, it was still thrilling. It was like this every time. Every. Time. Always the same effort, always the same satisfaction.

Lately life has been a bit routine, same old same old. I clock in at work, I clock out of work. I wait for the train, I get on the train. I get to where I am going. No effort needed. Running through the motions. Perhaps that’s why there haven’t been updates in awhile. Nothing much to update about. There are decisions with work and with life that had been put off because I’ve gotten used to things coasting, things being safe, things being comfortable. I keep thinking I’ll post when something happens, but nothing was happening. I got frustrated. Why aren’t things happening? I was going through the motions, why was I not seeing results? Then it hit me. I was making no effort. I was waiting for the gold ring to just fall in my lap. Unfortunately that’s not the way it works, not sure why it took me so long to see it. Not sure why I have been so afraid to push the limits and to go for what I want. I’ve had my belt all along, my family full of support, all I have to do is make the effort.

So now I am making decisions that are a little bit uncomfortable, a little bit scary, but a whole lot exhilarating. I am adjusting my belt, my heart is pounding, and I will see how far out I can reach.