Author: mommy


going for gold

Growing up we would often head down to the carousel in the park. I would eye the line, trying to perfectly time where I was in line so I could on an outer horse. Once that horse was secured I would adjust the belt, practice my stance and see how far I could reach out while still holding on. I never feared falling off the horse because of the belt, each time pushing the limits on how far I could reach. The minute the carousel started moving my heart would start pounding. Then the rings would come into view. You had to time it right, reaching out at just the right time. Each time there was a successful grab and a ring was secured, it was still thrilling. It was like this every time. Every. Time. Always the same effort, always the same satisfaction.

Lately life has been a bit routine, same old same old. I clock in at work, I clock out of work. I wait for the train, I get on the train. I get to where I am going. No effort needed. Running through the motions. Perhaps that’s why there haven’t been updates in awhile. Nothing much to update about. There are decisions with work and with life that had been put off because I’ve gotten used to things coasting, things being safe, things being comfortable. I keep thinking I’ll post when something happens, but nothing was happening. I got frustrated. Why aren’t things happening? I was going through the motions, why was I not seeing results? Then it hit me. I was making no effort. I was waiting for the gold ring to just fall in my lap. Unfortunately that’s not the way it works, not sure why it took me so long to see it. Not sure why I have been so afraid to push the limits and to go for what I want. I’ve had my belt all along, my family full of support, all I have to do is make the effort.

So now I am making decisions that are a little bit uncomfortable, a little bit scary, but a whole lot exhilarating. I am adjusting my belt, my heart is pounding, and I will see how far out I can reach.


Two peas

Sofia loves her some Eloise. They are so close they are like sisters. Except they don’t really fight like sisters. If Eloise doesn’t like what Sofia is doing she will either shout it at Sofia, which will make them both giggle, or she will just kind of move away from her and do her own thing. Once she is ready to be around her again she just kind of floats back in. Meanwhile Sofia the whole time is yipping away “hey Ella, over here Ella, wanna play Ella?!!!” Ella pretends not to hear but sometimes I catch a slight smile on Ella’s face like it is all part of some master plan. And with Ella, I am sure it is.

birthdays General

happy birthday to you

You’re in your room belting out Christmas carols. Yes, Christmas was a couple weeks ago, but who cares. To you every moment deserves a song and dance, and bedtime is no different. What a joyful world you live in. You are singing along with your cousins, and can sing a perfect version of Eloise’s “Jolly Old Saint Nicholas”, complete with her deep breathes and interpretive melody. You should be asleep by now, but I’m letting you enjoy the last few minutes of being four. You turn five tomorrow. Five. FIVE. Where did this year go? Seriously? Wasn’t it just October and I was saying I was going to get better about posting? In a blink of an eye you went from three to five it seems.

Most of the time I can’t believe you are just now turning five. The things you say, the things you think about in your small little head, the amount of love you have in your small little heart, your soul seems older than just five. But then other times you crack up over something so small and so silly and your laugh is so contagious that I can’t help but join in the belly laughing, leaving me to feel that I am the one that is five. I love that.

As you say to me every night when you go to bed, I love you more than anything. I am the luckiest person in the world because I get to be your mom. Happy birthday my sweet bean… now go to bed.


the doll ate my baby

I am sitting at the home computer paying some bills and Sofia is playing with her matryoshka doll at the table behind me. She was saying the normal playing things and then all of a sudden I heard “What’s wrong?”. Sofia has a pretend voice, a voice she only uses when she is playing pretend. It is high and squeaky and just a tad annoying. The squeaky voice answered her question.
“What’s wrong?”
“That lady ate my baby”
“Oh my, she ate your baby?!”

For a split second I was confused and a little disturbed. What is she playing? Then I remembered what she was playing with, nesting dolls. One doll goes inside of another. Hilarious.

General updates vacations

september highlights

How is it that the entire month of September went by without one post. Man, did it fly by but still, not one post? Here are some highlights. I promise to be better this month.

Circus with the crazy train
I took Bean and the Fleschner kids to the circus. Not sure I would do it again, but the kids LOVED it. Seriously loved it. Man on the tightrope only 5 feet above the ground? Love it. Acrobatic cats? Loved it. Dogs running under a bar? Loved it. Okay so maybe I would do it again.

Swimming lessons started back up
Bean is had moved up in her lessons, no more floating on her back and blowing bubbles. Now she is learning how to do the backstroke and the crawl. Best way to end your day? Watch the Bean do the crawl down half the length of the pool. Way cute.

Hindi classes started again
We haven’t really found our groove with this one but hopefully once we do I can see she will pick it up quickly. We found a new teacher and love her. Sofia is already practicing writing Hindi letters, learning songs, and common verbs. She loves going and even asked me to leave this past week when I sat down at the table with her and her teacher. I was sad for a split second but I know she will feel a bit more comfortable if I am not there.

Ice cream dinners
We had a week where it was over 90 all week. Not feeling like cooking, we stopped on the way home from school most days at one of the self-serve frozen yogurt places. We have narrowed it down to a couple favorites that we will probably still hit every once in awhile. Sofia’s usual toppings were marshmallows, pink mochi candy and sprinkles. Yum.

Birthday weekend in Cannon Beach
Best part of the month by far. Got to spend my birthday eve on the Washington Coast with Ajay and the bean and then we met the Holdens and Fleschners in Cannon Beach for my birthday night. Gina brought this amazing spread of apps and dinner, and Paul made his famous arancini. We had been trying to all sit down for a meal together for a couple of years now, but the 6 of us adults were never in the same room really, so this was a nice treat. Bebe and Grandpa came in the morning and even though the weather wasn’t sunny, it was perfect to me.

Playing 20 questions 20 bazillion times
Not sure I need to say much more about that. Just ask Bean if she wants to play 20 questions. I dare you.