Growing up we would often head down to the carousel in the park. I would eye the line, trying to perfectly time where I was in line so I could on an outer horse. Once that horse was secured I would adjust the belt, practice my stance and see how far I could reach out while still holding on. I never feared falling off the horse because of the belt, each time pushing the limits on how far I could reach. The minute the carousel started moving my heart would start pounding. Then the rings would come into view. You had to time it right, reaching out at just the right time. Each time there was a successful grab and a ring was secured, it was still thrilling. It was like this every time. Every. Time. Always the same effort, always the same satisfaction.
Lately life has been a bit routine, same old same old. I clock in at work, I clock out of work. I wait for the train, I get on the train. I get to where I am going. No effort needed. Running through the motions. Perhaps that’s why there haven’t been updates in awhile. Nothing much to update about. There are decisions with work and with life that had been put off because I’ve gotten used to things coasting, things being safe, things being comfortable. I keep thinking I’ll post when something happens, but nothing was happening. I got frustrated. Why aren’t things happening? I was going through the motions, why was I not seeing results? Then it hit me. I was making no effort. I was waiting for the gold ring to just fall in my lap. Unfortunately that’s not the way it works, not sure why it took me so long to see it. Not sure why I have been so afraid to push the limits and to go for what I want. I’ve had my belt all along, my family full of support, all I have to do is make the effort.
So now I am making decisions that are a little bit uncomfortable, a little bit scary, but a whole lot exhilarating. I am adjusting my belt, my heart is pounding, and I will see how far out I can reach.