Tag: bean

dora General humor

number ones and number twos

I try hard not to filter what I post. Some things I don’t because they aren’t relevant to miss Bean, but whenever she is involved I try to tell the whole story, nothing but the facts. Keep that in mind while reading and I apologize if I offend.

Lately Sofia has been becoming more and more aware of her bodily functions. She thinks gas is hilarious, and will run in the other room to go caca, announcing the minute she is done that she needs a diaper change. I pointed out that this was annoying. Auntie Gigi pointed out that this was a good sign, that she was becoming more aware of her need to go. I thought I would wait and see what happened, to see if this was a new pattern, and sure enough every time she has to go caca she will run in her room, stand in a corner behind her rocker, and go. Then run back out and announce she needs a change. So yesterday when we were at Target we got her some pullups and a Dora potty – a little seat that fits over the standard toilet seat, making it smaller and cushioned, and let’s face it, just more fun.

Sofia carried it around with her all over Target and all over the house. She just kept saying she was “so excited”. I keep explaining to her that if she had to go caca, to tell me and we would run into the bathroom and go on the Dora potty. The problem with this however is that now whenever she says “I have to go caca on the Dora potty” we have to listen and take her in there. I did this a couple time with her in the afternoon and she would never go, but once she was done she would carry that Dora potty right on out with her. She won’t go anywhere without it. Not too hygenic I know. I know. She was the only one using the potty though and not really using it so I justified letting her carry it around.

Fast forward to 5:30. Auntie Lala had just dropped Noah off for a couple hours and Sofia, Noah and I were back in her room. There was a knock at the door and I thought it was Auntie Lala forgetting something but no, it was a Verizon FIOS guy wanting to chat with me about our internet. We chatted for about 5-10 minutes, and then right as he was about to leave asked if he could please use our bathroom. He had some urgency in his eyes, was probably in his early 20’s, seemed nice enough and yes I know, this is how a ton of horror movies start out, but I felt bad and said yes and pointed him down the hall. As soon as the bathroom door closed I grabbed the phone, you know, just in case, and stood with the kids by the open front door. Immediately I started thinking what an idiot I was, why didn’t I just say no, Ajay would kill me, Lala would kill me, and then those thoughts turned to wow, this is taking a really long time. Did he fall in? What could he possibly be doing in there for five minutes? And then I thought, gross! Is he really doing that in there for five minutes?! Sure enough 5 MINUTES after he went in there he came out, said thank you and left. No trace of embarrassment, no trace of apology for stinking up our bathroom. NOTHING. I locked the door behind him and vowed to stay out of that part of the house for as long as possible.

You see where this is going right?

Sure enough Sofia chimes in with “I need to go potty in my Dora potty”. Seriously? Come on. Really? Yes, really. We head back to the bathroom and are hit with a wall of stank. I turn on the vent and have an internal debate on which is worse, breathing through my nose or my mouth. I decide I would rather smell than taste so breathe through my nose. I stick Sofia up on her Dora potty. She sits and giggles and laughs at Noah and I try to get her to go but she is just laughing. Just as I am about to pull her off and sanitize us all, she starts to go. She goes potty on her Dora potty! She looked at me triumphant, so proud of herself. I am cheering and clapping and Noah is giggling. She was cheering and clapping. It really was so exciting. She announces she is done and I get her off the potty, pull her pull up back up and all that. We start to walk out of the bathroom and I turn to make sure she is following me. At the same time I see she now has the Dora potty up in front of her face, her head sticking through the whole saying “He-lllllooooo”. At the same time I get a reminding whiff of the previous visitor to that bathroom. So. Foul. A minute later we were back in the family room, faces and hands washed and sanitized and the Dora potty was sitting lonely in the bathroom, Sofia trying to convince me that she needed her Dora potty to come with us. Sorry Bean, some things are non-negotiable.